NINE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AUSTRALIA
by minithepeanut
Summary: Chad's going to Australia and he doesn't know anything about the culture. Who will help him learn? Sonny, maybe? Maybe Sonny feels like a prank. R&R. Rated T cuz I felt like it. Love, agent-cookie :D


**Hello Peoples, okay, so you know how everyone has those lists of stereotypes on their profiles? Yeah, well I look through them occasionally and one in particular stuck out. I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. Basically I thought who would actually believe that? I mean, seriously we don't hunt crocodiles. We capture them and rehabilitate them as model citizens. And the kangaroo thing? Have any of you ever tried to be civil with a kangaroo? Clearly we'd rather talk to a platypus. Which, by the way, are not blue. (Sorry Perry) **

**Anyway, if you actually bothered to read past that rant, this story is about Sonny trying to convince Chad something ridiculous. Just because I'm feeling one-shot-y. And it's dedicated to all my Aussie Besties agent-mazda, Tani & BALLofSONSHINE (even though we don't know eachother much yet) & also all my fwends from school that won't read this until I force them to. :D**

**Also loved are Tori, Hannie & Lea (even though they're not Aussie)**

Sonny turned away from her laptop for a moment after she felt his penetrating blue eyes on the back of her neck.  
"What is it now, Chad?" She said, looking up.  
"I need your help with something." He said, not in his usual, arrogant way.  
"And that might be?" She motioned for him to proceed.  
"Well we're going to Australia for a few episodes of Mackenzie Falls and I don't know anything about Australia."  
"And you came to me because..." Sonny questioned.  
"Because I was hoping you could teach me. After all, you are the most multi-cultural person I know."  
A cough escaped from the vents.  
"And that I can find." Chad added, in response to Zora's suggestive cough.  
"Um...okay, I'll teach you about Australia...but, not until after rehearsals." Sonny said in response to the voice booming over the intercom.  
"Okay, cool." Chad said, putting his hands in his pockets and striding out of the room, his usual CDC way.

Sonny sighed. What did she know about Australia? Not much, that was for sure. She bundled up all her scripts and carried them over to the stage, where hopefully she would get a chance to talk to Zora for a bit, or even search the internet.

She looked at her script. The first one was Gary & Larry and she only had a cameo role. She made sure she knew her cue and pulled out her laptop. Upon looking up Australian facts the brunette happened to stumble across an interesting site.

Funny Questions and Answers for the Australian Tourism Board

The intrigued actress clicked on the link, only to find that it was a collection of random questions asked by tourists, and that they had been answered as jokes.

That's when an idea clicked.

* * *

Sonny headed back to her dressing room, not surprised to find Chad already sitting there.  
"So teach. Whatcha gonna teach me?" He asked, toying with the words.  
"Okay, well I just have a bunch of random facts..." Sonny began.  
"Okay, what's the first one?"  
"Okay, firstly, don't ever drink milk. It's an offence."  
"Um...okay?" Chad answered, not certain as to how he should react. He scribbled it down on his notepad before gesturing that she continued.  
"Secondly, they have a hippo race every Tuesday, so be sure you go to at least one of them."  
"You know what, Munroe..." Chad began slyly.  
"What, Cooper?" She said, mocking his tone.  
"I think you're lying to me."  
"I swear I'm not. This is straight from the internet." Sonny answered truthfully.  
"Okay fine." Chad surrendered writing it down on his notepad. He raised his head when he was done.  
"Oh, and you'll find the Vienna Choir Boys performing straight afterwards." Sonny said, while scrolling down.  
"Mhmm..." Chad mumbled.  
"There's this really fun tourist activity as well. I'd recommend it for your first time visiting."  
"And that is?" Chad questioned.  
"It's this hike from Perth to Sydney. They host it three times a month, every ten days, approximately."  
"Cool, sounds fun."  
"If you're lucky, you might even be able to wrestle a crocodile."  
Chad looked shocked.  
"Don't worry Chad. Australian crocodiles are actually really friendly. They just like to play fight."  
A wave of relief crashed over him, while Sonny was refraining from bursting out with laughter.  
"I think I just have three more things that you need to know." Sonny said, deciding she didn't want to oversell it.

"Okay, their north is different to our north. If you think you're facing north, you're really facing east. East is south, south is west and west is north. Got it?"  
Chad nodded.  
"Don't even think about touching a piece of cutlery there. Their cutlery is sacred and only for show. If you touch it you could be disrespecting their age old traditions."  
Chad nodded his head more vigorously this time.  
"And finally. If you ever go out walking and there is a tree nearby, you have to watch out for drop bears."  
Chad looked puzzled.  
"They're vicious predators that hang in trees. When someone walks past they'll drop down and rip you to shreds."  
Chad screamed his girly, high-pitched squeal.  
"It also says the only way to prevent them from attacking you is..." Sonny giggled, and Chad looked over to inspect the computer screen.  
"Oh no." Chad gaped.  
"Well it was nice knowing you." Sonny giggled, walking out to leave a dumbfounded Chad sitting in her dressing room.

**HEHE :3  
I thought I'd leave it there. And I'll put the link to that site on my profile. Also, there's a bunch of different things they say you should do to prevent drop bear attacks. I just think you guys can decide what it should be.  
Also, do you think I should write a sequel one-shot that is Chad's revenge when he comes back from Australia and finds out that everything Sonny told him was false?  
Anyway, please review.  
Luvv ya,  
xx Mini**


End file.
